The Top 60+ Frequently Asked  Divorce Questions At Our Office

Although these Questions are answered by Kentucky Divorce Law the laws of other states are almost always similar and in some cases we explain the range of the exceptions.  Please help us by e mailing us questions and we will add your questions and answers to this ever growing list of commonly asked questions.  

 I am in need of help and I cant afford an attorney. Can you share some suggestions with me?  You may want to ask for assistance from Legal Aide.  Many of their offices will do a divorce for persons with low incomes.  Normally attorneys charge about $500 to $700 or more for a divorce and the court costs are an additional $120 including service of process.   However every county may have a different amount for their court costs.  I don’t suggest that anyone do their own divorce but all of the forms for an agreed and uncontested divorce are in my manual. If you have only been together for a few months your spouse may be agreeable to signing an uncontested divorce so that there isn’t a lot of expense and paperwork to be involved.  Even if you do your own divorce you should have an attorney look over the paperwork before you sign any settlement agreement.  If there isn’t any property, child support or child custody questions and the divorce is only a matter of dissolving the marriage, you may be ok in doing it yourself. The problem with doing your own divorce is that you do have to go to the trouble of going to the courthouse and doing all of the paperwork and most individuals lack the skill and knowledge.  Because of the time involved, and the emotional expense and trouble,  most people are happy to pay $500 or more dollars to have an attorney prepare the uncontested divorce paperwork.    It may be far better for you to work a little extra and pay for it.

 I will be updating my Divorce manual over the next month to include some information for individuals who are unable to pay and how they can get child support in Kentucky.  All of the forms for a simple uncontested divorce are in my manual.  They are in the back and it can be downloaded for free from the internet.  You just insert your own names and information you should be able to finish an uncontested divorce with these forms.   I have the general divorce forms on disk so that a person can later get an increase in their child support. I can only guess at what the majority of the forms that a person would need in the case of a contested divorce so I am constantly adding more forms to the disk.  If you don’t find a form on my disk please request it and we will add it and send you an update.  The Manual is in RTF format and any word processor will convert the manual and the forms and the manual tells you how to do an uncontested divorce.  However,  if your divorce is contested or if you need to enforce child support those forms would have to be on a disk. 

 1  What should I pay for an attorney and what are divorce mills?  A lawyer that doesn’t charge for his time will be worth every penny you pay.  The eventual outcome of your divorce depends on the facts, the law, how the judge views your case, and other factors including how good your attorney is. Every case is different. Although your lawyer may express an opinion on possible or probable outcomes, nobody can be sure of the result until it happens. Our practice is based on referrals from clients that are treated like family not high pressure advertising that blankets an area trying to get everyone into our office. Our personnel and resources are located in one office.  Mills attempt to cover an area often with branch offices staffed by non attorneys, paralegals or untrained staff just to get more business and cases. Mills normally handle cases with untrained or under qualified personnel.  We are legitimate attorneys. Mills often do not keep clients informed about the status of their cases.  We send clients a copy of virtually everything that we send or receive. We keep you informed and give status reports by telephone, mail or in person.

2 How does the Court decide who gets Custody? The Court uses a best interests of the Child test. Factors that may be used to decide who gets custody include:

   A Job and Residential Stability

   B Emotional Stability of the Parent

   C How the child performs in school and with others while it is with one parent.

   D The type of model that each parent would be for the child.

   E Negative factors such a drug or alcohol addiction and former child abuse allegations

   F Whether or not the child has become used to and integrated into the home of one parent

   G Whether it would split apart siblings.

   H Income is not a directly a factor but what each family could offer the child is a factor is.

   I Psychological evidence is a strong factor and a judge may order psychological exams.

   J Whose fault the divorce was is never a factor and conduct that does not effect a child is not considered.

Each spouse is legally equally entitled to custody of the child.  A court will almost always agree with the settlement agreements of the parties.  If there is no agreement the Court is forced to decide based on psychological expert witnesses and testimony as to what is best for the child.

3 What is the normal visitation the Court will award? Normally the Court will award every other weekend, two weeks during the summer, and alternating major Holidays if the parties cant agree on visitation. Additional time can be agreed upon by the parties if there is absolutely joint and equal custody each side will get half.

4 He isn't paying child support what do I do? If you know where he is and where he is working you can hire an attorney to enforce the child support order. Some Commonwealth Attorneys and County Attorneys work hard to criminally prosecute non support but generally they are overworked and often cases are left alone for months or years because of the overload. Many parents skip and change identities to avoid prosecution. Child Support normally takes about 22% of the persons income and if you also pay taxes the person has 50% of his income taken out before he gets it. There is a very strong relationship to parents that don't visit their children and parents that don't support them. Single parent families and children that do not see their fathers also do poorly in school and in their careers. Such children also tend to have poor marriages, and divorce often because they have poor parents as models. I know that this advise is politically unpopular to state that single parent homes are poor homes but it is accurate and correct statistically. Sometimes there is a need to divorce. You have to because the relationship is unhealthy to stay in. If you must divorce understand that it can have effects on the children and how they later marry and act in their lives. If you see a problem get counseling.  Child Support in Kentucky lasts until age 18 other states may require support to age 21. 

5 How long do I have to be a resident to file for divorce? In Kentucky 6 months other states vary from a few days to one year. No state has a waiting period longer than a year.

6 How long do I have to be a resident if Children are involved? In Kentucky 6 months other states vary from a few days to one year. No state can have a waiting period longer than a year.

7 How long do I have to wait for my divorce if children are involved? In Kentucky you will have to wait at least 60 days after the other party is properly served and the divorce is filed.

8 Do women still automatically get the children? Sex is no longer a legal factor in grating custody. However women still more often file divorce actions as petitioners and they tend to win custody more often than men.

9 What about grandparents do they have rights? Yes they also can have visitation however cases have emphasized that unless the parents are willing or it would deprive the child then it is the parents wishes that rule unless the grandparents can prove by clear and convincing evidence that visitation should be granted.

10 What do I have to do to change Custody. This may be done by agreement or a showing that there is a change in conditions since the time of the original judgment that endangers the mental emotional or moral health of the child and that the child's welfare would be supported by the modification.

11 Is there any way to not pay support ? One of the most common questions asked is how to not pay support. A person has a duty to support their children.  In a divorce, the obligation to pay support starts with being properly served by a motion for support. If the parent skips before being served support never starts.  However if they are served there are federal income tax intercepts and many ways to enforce collection. If a non custodial parent fails to pay support he may be jailed either for contempt or for the criminal failure to pay support.  A parents rights may be terminated terminating the obligation to pay support and termination of rights altogether. This may be by agreement of the parties but it is unusual that parent's rights are terminated unless there is another father ready to step into those shoes or unless the parent is a danger or a strong negative influence to the child. Non payment of child support is not by itself sufficient to terminate a parent's rights to a child normally abandonment or more is required. It requires a showing that it is in the best interests of the child that the rights be terminated and this normally requires that the parent is proven to be a poor influence in the child's life.  Many parents skip in order to avoid payment, others may litigate child support so much that it costs more to litigate than anything that is collected. Child support can also be repaid in a Chapter 13.  

12 What about parental Kidnapping? If the state the child was taken from has a felony statute, then it may also be a Federal crime. In Kentucky custodial interference is a felony and a person wrongfully taking the child from it's parent has committed a felony.

13 What is Joint Custody why do judges prefer it ? Joint custody does not mean equal rights for both parents. Normally one person has the child and controls the child the majority of the time. However joint custody does mean that there is some sharing of the management of the child. It is preferred by the Court because it means a more mature divorce and home like family situation. Families where both parents are involved means that the child is supported and parented by both parents. Families where one parent is absent means more chance of delinquency, child support problems and other problems.

14 Can I remove the children from the state if my job changes ? Normally the custodial parent is free to move from the state to a new job but the custodial parent often has to show to the court that they should be allowed to move from the state. 

15 How is child support decided? Child Support is decided by a child support guidelines chart. Each parent pays a pro rata share of the costs of raising the child including day care.

16 How are property and debts divided? Normally property and debts are evenly divided. However there are factors that may change the division of property. These factors include one person destroying or converting property. 

17 What is marital and non marital property ? Marital property is any property that the parties earns or purchases during the marriage. Property that is given to someone during the marriage or that is earned before the marriage is not subject to be divided and is non marital property.

18 What is and Emergency Protective Order? An EPO is a judicial order forbidding a person from destroying property, harming a spouse or contacting a spouse. This may often include granting a spouse custody child support and even alimony.  Under Kentucky law a woman that claims domestic violence and that requests an EPO is given an almost automatic grant of the children and child support with little or no right to the spouse to defend the claim.  In an article by the Courier Journal it was claimed that almost one half of all the cases in our courts were false claims that were filed to obtain an advantage in the divorce system. 

19 Am I entitled to Alimony ? Alimony is not normally given unless one spouse is unable to provide for themselves even then the other spouse has to be proven to be able to afford the alimony. Alimony cant be awarded to one if the other person wont be able to afford normal living expenses.

20 Do we have a common law marriage ? There is only one state that allows and honors common law marriages and Kentucky isn't it. If you live with someone you generally have none of the rights that marriage gives you. There is no alimony or marital property only child support. Living with someone gets you nothing in 49 states as far as a legal status.

21 What is an uncontested divorce ? A divorce where both parties agree to all the terms of the divorce.

22 What is mediation Does mediation have any advantages over a traditional litigated? If a divorce is contested in Jefferson County then the parties have to first attempt mediation before a hearing will be held. Mediation will attempt to work out an agreement and both parties will divide the cost of this. Mediation is an attempt by the Court system to reduce the number of cases that it has to hear by reaching agreements with parties that are arguing over issues that will waste the Court’s time. If the Court will only evenly divide the assets in a hearing why not avoid the expense and effort of trial? Mediation is much less expensive and more rapid than litigation.

23 What effect are prenuptial agreements ? Prenuptial agreements are often reviewed for unfairness and they are not favored by the Courts. However some parties with large amounts of property going into a marriage are well advised to get an agreement. It can document that some property was non marital property.

24 What is contempt ? The willful refusal to obey court orders. A person may be jailed or imprisoned for failing to obey court orders willfully.

25 When can I remarry ? The fact that there has been a final hearing does not mean that you can remarry. You should not remarry or believe that you are single until you receive the final decree of divorce

26 I am planning to file what should I do when should we separate our joint bank and credit cards ? Especially if you suspect a contested divorce consider doing the following. 1 get control of the financial records as soon as possible and make the records safe. 2 cancel or close out checking savings and credit accounts and take control of the assets. 3 If you have important items or valuables remove them to a safe location. 4 Do not incur any new debt because you will have a more difficult financial time. If you know that you will also be filing bankruptcy then you may want to make certain that you do not charge more than 1000 dollars on any one credit card within 90 days of filing bankruptcy. Although you should not delay consulting a lawyer, you should learn as much as you can about your family's finances as soon as possible. Know the monthly and annual costs of running the family home, how much you and your spouse earn, what each of you have in savings, and where those assets are located. Find out what insurance policies, if any, you and your spouse have, make photocopies of past filed tax returns and find out what assets debts and income both of you have.

27 Scenario: Years ago my spouse and I divorced. She got the house in the divorce settlement. I am on the loan for the house and she is not making the payments which she is required to do in the divorce settlement. It is ruining my credit and they are asking me to pay. What can I do? The Court may order a sale of the house and it may reopen the case to divide the property or resolve the situation fairly. Divorce Courts have "continuing jurisdiction" and they can enter new orders when custody child support or visitation and marital property needs to be changed later to reach a fair or proper results. However, judges may also refuse to reopen a case if you should have and simply failed to ask for some things like attorney fees earlier and the request is late or untimely.

28 What is no fault and what are the grounds for divorce? There are 12 common law grounds for divorce adultery, abuse, fraud, sexual dysfunction, abandonment, alcohol and drug addiction, and 6 other fault grounds. However Kentucky and almost all the other states generally grant divorces based on no fault and irreconcilable differences where one party establishes that they have not lived with the other for 6 months and that the marriage is irretrievably broken. In a non fault divorce there is no need to show any wrong doing on any parties fault. All states have no fault laws and unless there is a real reason for showing fault or wrong doing there are few reasons for alleging fault.

29 What should I do if I am served with a divorce complaint? You should immediately find an attorney. If you fail to answer the complaint you may find yourself losing marital property or paying too much child support or losing your right to custody or visitation with the children. If you fail to answer the complaint a default judgment may be granted to your spouse giving them everything and denying you even visitation with the children and you may never get the children or the property back. In some states like Georgia you may forever lose the right to argue against the complaint if you do not file an answer within 30 days.

30 What is an annulment? Unlike a divorce an annulment means that the marriage was never valid. An annulment is rarely granted if there are children. In order to grant an annulment the Court normally has to find that the marriage was illegal. For instance it would have to find that you married a close relative that one party was mentally incompetent to marry or that one party was underage. In all of these case the marriage was illegal or void to start with. Filing for an annulment is also an admission by you that you married someone mentally incompetent underage or a cousin and may admit things about you to the court that can cause you to even lose your children. Do you really want to admit you married a mentally retarded person just to get an annulment?

31 Must I go to Court to get the Divorce? No. Most states allow evidence by deposition where you take testimony in the attorneys office with a Court reporter.

32 How long does it take to get a divorce? In Kentucky, if there are no children the divorce can take less than 30 days as long as the parties have been physically separated for 60 days.  You can still be living in the same house you can’t be sharing a bed and having sex.  If there are children involved it will take at least 60 days even if all the parties are in agreement. If the divorce is contested it may take years. If child abuse or spousal abuse is alleged it can lengthen the divorce even longer to get visitation. It can take up to a year to get a divorce in some states like Maryland.  You must be a resident in Kentucky for 180 days before you can file a divorce. 

33 What happens while I wait for the divorce? Either spouse may request a temporary hearing while waiting for the final order so that child custody support visitation and even property may be temporarily be awarded. These temporary orders may also be restraining orders to not dispose of property. The judge will issue a temporary order that awards items until the final trial however these temporary orders have a tendency to become permanent so they are very important. Emergency Protective Orders and other domestic violence orders act like the temporary orders and tend to become permanent orders for support or custody.

34 Why share custody? Almost every study has shown that the more the parents involve themselves with raising the children the better adjusted the child is. When parents share the responsibilites of raising the child the child is more in life. In Kentucky and many states judges will automatically order joint custody with one parent being the "primary caretaker" of the child. There is very little difference between this normally and one parent having sole custody since one parent still primarily cares for the child. However some cases have equal caretaking of the child with the child living half the time with one parent and exactly half the time with the other. Still however a child is better off with both parents being married children "model" themselves after their parents and children from divorced parents tend to be divorced themselves. Children from abusive and alcoholic parents tend to become abusive or alcoholics because they model their parents.

35 Can my spouse be made to pay support while the child is in College? If the parties agree the child may be supported through college. The judge normally cannot and will not award support past age 18 unless the child is still in high school and in no case past age 19.

35 What are the tax problems involved with divorce? Alimony is a tax deduction. It is earned income to the person who gets it and it is deducted from the earnings of the person that pays it for tax purposes. Child support is not tax deductible. By making support alimony instead of child support you may reduce the taxes to one party and be able to give more to another. By using just this method a couple can increase child support by 10% or more from the non custodial parent to the custodial parent and still have a tax savings to the wealthier spouse.

37 What do I do if I am the victim of family violence? If you are actually a victim of family violence you need to protect yourself and the children. You must report it to the authorities and in Kentucky and many other states if you know of abuse to the child and you do not report it you will be prosecuted and be found just as guilty as the spouse that did the abuse. It is important that you remove yourself and any children from the abusive spouse and get to safety.

The system of spousal abuse however is extremely sexist and abused. In Kentucky, the Cabinet for Human Resources and some county clerks have refused to take reports of abuse if you are a male and you report a female. If you are female however, the Cabinet for Human Resources will encourage reporting and threaten her with removing the children or prosecution if she considers not prosecuting her husband. Victims of abuse can get a court order to protect them from the abusive spouse. This order may grant you custody, child support, the marital residence and property. The system is often abused with false claims being made to quickly grab custody or property. Once the orders have been in effect for a time they often become permanent orders as the child becomes integrated into the new environment. The Judge is forced by Kentucky law to grant the order and to essentially ignore any evidence that the accused abuser brings to court and to only consider the claim of the person alleging abuse.

38 Why do I need an attorney if we agree on all the divorce issues?  You still need an attorney because the agreement that you are signing is often drafted by the attorney for the other spouse and it may be written to protect them and to place you at a later disadvantage. Unless you have a divorce attorney's understanding of the law you may be signing away your children or our property. Never ever sign any document or fail to get an attorney without legal advise. What you sign away you may not be able to get back later. Having a lawyer will insure that you have all the matters resolved properly. Not having a lawyer almost always guarantees that you have made a costly mistake and that you will lose property child support custody or visitation. Further you may not understand exactly what later will result from special terms that may be in the documents. 

39 How can I enforce the divorce order? The court orders can be enforced just like any other garnishment or debt. It can also be enforced by contempt orders that jail or grant to you property and attorney fees. Child Support may also be enforced as a criminal action. If child support in the state of Kentucky is not paid for 6 months or if the payer is behind 1000 dollars it may be enforced as a felony conviction and the person put in prison and fined in addition to being made to pay.

40 What happens to our property in a divorce? Unless you and your spouse can agree on how to divide the property it will be divided by the judge and the debts will be divided also. However just because the debts are divided in the divorce does not mean that creditors will not come after the other spouse. The divorce decree does not stop bill collectors from collecting the debt they were ordered to pay in the divorce from you. It may also be possible that they file bankruptcy and that you will still have to pay the debt. Seriously consider whether you or they will file bankruptcy and what guarantees that they will pay. For instance if they cannot afford the house it may be best for you to either force the sale of the house or to take the house and the debt for it rather than trust them to pay for it. It is common of a spouse to file bankruptcy and sit in the house until foreclosure and the mortgage company then attempt to collect from you and have this destroy your credit. Marital property and the debts are normally divided equally. Property that you earned prior to the marriage or given to you is not divided and is not marital property.  As long as the property agreement is not unconscionable it will be granted. 

41 What is alimony? Alimony is money paid by one spouse to another of support and maintenance. It may be granted by the husband or the wife however it is rarely granted to males statistically. Alimony normally is for a limited period of time until the spouse learns new job skills and becomes self sufficient. It cannot be awarded unless the payer spouse can afford it. Alimony also stops normally on remarriage or death of the spouse getting the alimony. Alimony may be paid over time or in one lump sum. Child Support can also be paid in one lump sum.

42 How do I get my maiden name back? To get back your maiden name remember to tell your attorney to include it in the marital settlement if you have a divorce agreement. Also your attorney needs to include it in the Judges final order. It is more expensive to go back to get it done later. It is very important that you resolve all the issues at your final trial or in your marital settlement or you may lose it forever. If you fail to have it set out you at least will end up paying extra legal fees.

43 What if I forgot something in the marital settlement?  I forgot to include the question of my attorney fees! If you forgot to include issues you may lose forever your right to bring up the issue later. With the case of attorney's fees you probably have lost it. With the case of not being able to agree on visitation later you would be able to go back to court because the court has continuing jurisdiction when an issue like changing child custody, visitation, or support increases and decreases needs to be looked at later and especially when circumstances change. When you simply failed to ask for something out of your own incompetence, the judge will not like wasting his time reopening the case to handle the case in small later hearings when it should have all been done in one trial. Also handling these issues in several small hearing will dramatically increase the cost of the divorce.

44 Should I use a Divorce Mill to cheaply process the divorce? You can save money time and effort by working with each other in the divorce. But would you go to the cheapest surgeon in town?? You tend to get what you pay for. If you use a cheap, poor, or unqualified paralegal you may lose more in property, child custody or child support than what you saved in attorney fees. If you are a young couple with no property and no children and nothing to lose it may be ok to spend less when nothing is at risk. However, if children or property or debts are involved it is not advisable to have poor or cheap  representation. The average person will earn over one million dollars in her lifetime. You can afford 1,000 to 3,000 for a divorce better than you can afford losing your children or your home.  Attorneys now charge 150 an hour for their time and this may require one or two days of their time even if the divorce is uncontested. Contested divorces may take weeks of their time and thousands. You have to decide if you want this done right or done cheaply and poorly. Cheaply and poorly always costs more in the long run.

45 What is mediation? In order to discourage expensive and time consuming trials mediation is required in many Courts like Louisville Kentucky. In mediation another attorney will offer suggestions to the parties so perhaps a trial can be avoided and issues can be resolved. 

46 Do the parties have to live apart?  No however they cannot share the same room and have sexual intercourse and file for divorce.  They may be "separated" and still share the same house. 

47 Should I withhold visitation from my ex until he starts making child support payments on time and in full? Many spouses use this as a tactic to force child support being paid on time and it may work. However the "official legal answer is no you are not supposed to use this as a tactic. You are using the children and harming them by keeping them from your ex spouse in order to get them to act properly. You are making the arguing worse and you are acting as poorly as they are or worse. Additionally your children are watching you and eventually they will dislike you for keeping them from their other parent.   These are separate issues and you should take them back to Court for contempt for not paying.

48 What should I look for in a divorce attorney? He should be qualified and have experience in Divorce Court. He should do quality work, put effort into your case and not overcharge. He needs to have respect for your feelings, what you want. He has to answer your questions and return your calls. He has to take time in doing your case and care for you. He must tell you the truth about how the legal system works so you can use the information to plan and protect yourself. He cant guarantee that you will win but he does the work completely and pays attention to the details. You shouldn’t be stuck talking to a secretary with unreturned calls. If you see any of this get a refund of your retainer and find a better attorney.

49 Is it all right to date? Be careful. When you are divorcing it is a very emotional time. You are vulnerable in this state. There are no rules against you dating anyone. When a person comes along and he meets your needs.... you feel thankful ....you want to give back after he has given so much to you. People have successful marriages and relationships when their needs and desires are met. People may offer to help at this time and you will be very vulnerable to fill the empty void in your life by starting a new relationship. You are changing. You are learning make the choices that led to this divorce. Hopefully you are learning that some of the strategies and models that you thought were right are wrong. You need this time alone while you rethink roles your relationships. Getting into a relationship at this time may complicate your divorce or heat up the arguing in your divorce to remarry or to enter into any new relationship by triggering jealousy. However if a person comes along that is that perfect match there is no rule against dating and keeping yourself from having the happiness you could have. If you do choose to have any sexual relationship keep it private not public and in your spouses face.

51 What should I expect from an attorney? A divorce by it’s nature requires you to divulge information to your lawyer even your spouse does not know, and for him to advise you. But he is not your psychologist nor is he qualified to give you psychological advice. Questions concerning the children's welfare or your emotional state should be addressed to the appropriate social or mental health expert. Every attorney will, listen to your rendition of the problems in the marriage and possibly take notes. After hearing your problems and concerns, the attorney might give you a brief overview of the law, explain the different options available to you, what she can hope to accomplish for you. It is impossible to predict the future of any case but he should be able to tell you what he expects after the initial consultation. Be wary of any attorney who guarantees results. The attorney should also describe her professional background and explain her fee structure. An initial consultation has sometimes been compared to a blind date, but the comparison is not far off base. Did you leave the office feeling confident about the attorney? Did he keep you waiting? Did he take calls during the meeting? Was the office shabby? Lack of attention now, when a lawyer is presumably trying to obtain your business, does not bode well for the future.

54 What if I don't like the judge? Judges recuse themselves (remove themselves) when there is a conflict between them and some aspect of the case. For example, if a judge was assigned to your case, and he was your husband's relative, he will recuse himself from the case, and a different judge will be assigned. The fact that a party does not like a judge is not a basis for recusing him.

55 I don't have the kids but I want the tax deduction what do I do?   If the other parent has custody you don't qualify for the exemption unless you obtain IRS "Release of Claim to Exemption for Child of Divorced or Separated Parents" (Form 8332), signed by them.    The US Tax Court denied a non-custodial parent's claim for a child's exemption even though the divorce court ordered that he be allowed the exemption. It may be a huge savings if the larger wage earner

56 How old do you have to be to get married?   You have to be age 18 to get married in Kentucky but you may get married under the age of 18 with parental consent.  Age is not a problem if the District court declares you to be emancipated and an adult.  This is can be done in the case of pregnant females.    You don’t have to be residents of the state of Kentucky to become married but it may cause problems if you marry in Kentucky and return to a home state that has more strict laws about marrying.  Persons that have been declared incompetent can not legally marry and their marriages are void.   Just having a mental problem does not disqualify a person from marrying only being an idiot or a lunatic or being legally declared incompetent will disqualify a marriage. 

57 My husband claims he wont grant me a divorce what if he wont let me? You can not be held prisoner in a marriage that you don’t want.  If you want the divorce you do not have to have your spouses consent.  You need his agreement to marry him you don’t need his agreement to divorce him.  A spouse can contest a divorce and disagree about the amount of child support alimony how the property is to be divided who should get custody and what kind of visitation should be allowed but you can’t be forced to stay married to anyone.  A judge may order a reconciliation conference to see if the marriage is broken or not. 

58  What if I want a separation or an annulment?  Generally people that want a separation finally end up filing two lawsuits the separation and the divorce.  There is no benefit to doing this (except for the attorney who charges twice for two lawsuits). An annulment is a court procedure that dissolves a marriage. But an annulment treats the marriage as though it never happened. For some people, divorce carries a stigma, and they would rather their marriage be annulled. Others prefer an annulment because it may be easier to remarry in their church if they go through an annulment rather than a divorce.   An annulment is normally a claim that the marriage contract never existed.  The grounds normally include one of the following reasons:

underage or mental capacity the person lacked the mental capacity or legal age to marry  

incapacity or refusal to consumate the marriage lacking the ability to have sexual relationship or to  have children, or they were still married

Concealment concealing the fact that they were married to another at the time of the marriage, that they had an addiction to alcohol or drugs, a criminal history, children from a prior relationship, a sexually transmitted disease, or impotency

misunderstanding one person wanted children and the other did not

Most annulments are granted for religious reasons and take place after a marriage of a very short duration

58  Can I get alimony or child support in a no fault case. Alimony child support custody and property is generally not awarded based on fault.  In a rare case it may be a defense to alimony.  If anything finding fault may work against you.  Alimony ends when the person getting alimony remarries. 

58  How do I get my maiden name back?   Getting your maiden name back is simple.   By simply including it in the final divorce decree you are allowed to get your maiden name back.  The law requires that you are allowed to have your maiden or former name back. 

58  My wife has remarried can she change the name of my child?  No.  Not without your permission. 

59  If you have any questions please send them to us so that we can add them to this section

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